Cnuasach
by ipreferwestside
Summary: Cnuasach: Gaelic for "Collection." A collection of ficlets and one-shots. Episode inserts/continuations, AU meets, etc. All chapters rated T or lower. Note: Not being updated anymore. All one-shots are being posted as separate stories.
1. Embers (2x18 insert)

Embers (2x18 insert)

"You can and you will."

Beckett stared at the ceiling, Castle's earlier words ringing in her ears. Part of her was still annoyed at how he'd basically forced her to stay with him, although if she was being completely honest with herself, she kind of liked that side of him. The protective side, nurturing even, offering to buy her clothes, sleeping on her couch to protect her.

It was late, she knew; she also knew that she needed to sleep, and hoped that her brain cooperated and let her rest for a few hours. But as soon as she closed her eyes, she heard the mechanical "Goodbye, Nikki" and was back in her apartment. If Castle hadn't called her, hadn't warned her, that split second could have made all the difference. She owed him her life. And now, offering up his guest room for however long she needed it? It was too much. If she wasn't careful, she might actually start to love being around him.

Love? She turned to her back and stared at the ceiling. Who the hell was she kidding? He obviously liked her; she caught him staring way more than she should. And while she'd been a great detective already, after he started "consulting," he'd helped her up her game. She still depended on him to see the stories behind the evidence, although she was starting to anticipate parts of them. And he was so observant; he had her coffee order perfect after hearing it just once.

Holy crap, Lanie was right. Castle like-liked her. But he was such an ass, so self-centered and a child…well, maybe not so much. There was definitely that "9-year-old on a sugar rush" quality to him, but the way he'd barged into her apartment with no thought to his own safety and wrapped her in his coat, his arms encircling her, protecting her…there was no selfishness there.

Not to mention, his coat had smelled like him and she'd hated to let it go.

Kate sighed and shifted again, to her side. Well, shit. Now she _definitely_ wasn't going to fall asleep, even if she was lying on the most comfortable mattress she'd ever been on. She didn't want to be alone tonight. She'd felt safest in his arms, so…was she crazy? Well, it was worth a shot.

She quietly padded down the stairs, pausing a few times to make sure Alexis hadn't woken. _This is dumb,_ she thought multiple times; still, her feet moved against her brain's will. When she stepped into the living room, though, she was met with a surprise: Castle wasn't in his room. On the contrary, he was in his office, a single lamp casting a dim light across his features. She approached slowly, watching him for a few moments, then finally knocked on the doorframe.

Castle started at the noise. He often wrote late into the night, but tonight he was lost in his thoughts. He saw Beckett standing there in her oversized shirt and leggings, silhouetted by the light. "Hey," he said quietly, knowing how his voice could carry upstairs if he wasn't careful.

Beckett gave him a small smile. "Hi. I guess you can't sleep either?"

Castle looked at the clock. 3:30am. Damn. "No, I tried, kept tossing and turning. Are you okay? Do you need something?"

"No. I don't—I mean—" Kate shook her head, trying to shake the tears that had suddenly formed in her eyes. "I just keep replaying the last couple days over in my mind. You know, what could I have done different, stuff like that." How he had looked sleeping on her couch, so peaceful. How she had kept opening her door to look at him and almost went to him for comfort. How she forced herself back into her bedroom.

"Me too." They locked eyes for a few moments before he spoke again. "Hot chocolate?"

This got a smile from Beckett, the first real one he'd seen since this case started. "That would be great."

A few minutes later, they were curled up on opposite sides of the couch, sipping silently in the near-darkness. Kate felt her head start to droop, heard a "Whoa, careful," and felt a hand touch hers as he took her mug away. She opened her eyes long enough to see Castle get a blanket and lay it over her. She saw him walk away, presumably going back to his office or bedroom. "Rick?"

Castle stopped and turned at her voice. "Yeah?" He saw her tuck her hair behind her ear, a habit she'd adapted when she was trying to find the right words. He moved closer. "What is it?"

Kate felt her cheeks flush. "This is going to sound silly—"

"Never."

"Will you stay out here? I just—I don't want to be alone. Not tonight."

Castle didn't hesitate. The look in her eyes, sad and terrified and pleading, all in one, that was lethal. And the way she'd said his first name, she sounded so innocent, childlike. He grabbed a second blanket and sat back down, letting her settle into his side, draping both blankets around them. He allowed himself to place a light kiss on the top of her head. "When your apartment blew, I was scared. I thought I hadn't warned you in time. So when I saw you—"

"I know," Kate muttered. This time she couldn't stop the tears from falling. "Thank you for being there. I know most of the time I act like I don't want you around, and sometimes it's true, but most of the time it's not. I'm just sorry I put you in danger."

Rick stayed silent. His muse – no, his friend – hadn't opened up to him in a long time, not since before he'd looked at her mother's case, and he wasn't about to give her a reason to stop.

"I told you how my dad was after my mom's…you know."

What, was she a mind reader now?

"He was so focused on trying to drink away the pain, that when I needed him the most, he wasn't there. Mom had been my rock, the person I went to with everything. But with her gone, Dad too, essentially, I felt so alone. Even when I poured myself into work, at the end of the day, I went home to an empty apartment. But now—" Kate sniffled. "My single greatest fear, more than anything, is that I will die alone, in some alley, like my mom. I'm always alone. I don't want to be tonight."

Castle swallowed around the lump in his throat. He waited a few moments before saying anything, to make sure she was done. "Kate," he said quietly, cupping her chin and lifting her face to look at his. "You are not alone. And as long as I'm around, that will never happen."

Kate leaned up and kissed his cheek, a soft, tender kiss that she poured all of her gratitude into. All she could manage to say was a simple, "Thank you." As she settled back into his side, she was vaguely aware of him laying them down, her on top of him. His arms tightened and she breathed deeply, almost a sigh of contentment. "Thanks for being here, Rick."

Castle smiled. "Always."


	2. Someday (post-3x14)

**Someday (post-3x14)**

Finally.

Kate Beckett closed her eyes and leaned against her closed door, sighing as she took off her strappy heels. Castle had followed through on his promise to hold a fundraiser for the scholarship he'd opened in Johanna Beckett's name. The night had been more than successful; she didn't know even a ballpark figure, but Castle promised her that the scholarship was covered for at least a few years.

And Castle – Kate let herself smile as she made her way to her bedroom, removing the traces of the evening as she went. She had hated him once, when he'd confessed to looking into her mom's murder despite her explicit wishes. When he'd told her…

She glanced into her living room, where her makeshift murder board was kept hidden. No, not tonight. Tonight had been dedicated to the positive, to what little good could come out of such a terrible, terrible time.

As she climbed into bed, feet and face exhausted from shoes and nonstop smiling, she glanced at the clock and groaned. Sleep would be short; for some godforsaken reason, she'd ignored Montgomery's advice and agreed to be on call the next day. She better set her alarm-

_Knock, knock_

What the-

Kate padded her way to the door and peeked through the peephole – what was Castle doing here? He'd dropped her off and headed for home. "Hey," she said, opening the door. "Everything okay?"

"Found this in the car. It must have fallen out of your purse." Castle couldn't help but notice she was in her pajamas, tonight's choice a simple t-shirt and shorts. She'd taken down her hair and removed her makeup, and looked exhausted. Castle had never seen her look more beautiful. "I was going to bring it by tomorrow, but you said you were on call at 8, so-"

Kate gave him a sheepish smile and took her phone from him. "Thanks. Sorry. You didn't have to bring it all the way back. I think Montgomery told dispatch not to call me until noon, so tomorrow would have been fine. But thanks."

"No problem." Rick rocked back on his heels for a moment, trying desperately to keep his eyes on her face – the t-shirt didn't leave very much to his imagination, and he had a hunch she was too tired to care. He thrust his hands in his pockets to keep them from moving towards her. "Good night, Beckett." He turned around to leave-

"Rick, wait." Kate was quiet so not to wake up her neighbors, so quiet he almost didn't hear her. She smiled when he turned, his hair tousled and his suit wrinkled and he looked so damn handsome it hurt. She had so much she wanted to say, but not now. Not when they were both asleep on their feet and she wanted nothing but to crawl into bed and try to ignore the desire she felt in the pit of her stomach. Besides, she wasn't the one that was good with words. So she settled for a simple:

"Thank you. For tonight. It was-" Why was she starting to choke up? She cleared her throat and tried again. "What you did, what you said, your speech. It meant a lot. I-thank you."

She expected him to smirk, say something annoying and sarcastic and perfect. Instead he stared at her with that gaze he'd adapted recently, intense and tender and…loving?...all at the same time. He took a small step closer to her. "You know, every word I said was true. I know your mom was amazing because you are amazing."

Kate felt a blush creep up her cheeks. How he could melt her heart her with a simple compliment, especially at 3 in the morning…well, the man did have a way with words. "Well, I appreciate it. Thanks again, Rick. I'll see you later."

The door was shut before Castle could even react. He briefly considered knocking again, wondering if her door would open much like her feelings were beginning to. But as soon as he heard the lock click and chain slide in place, he moved towards the elevator. Their time would come. One day he'd be able to form his feelings into words…one day she'd realize hers. But not today. Probably not tomorrow, or the next day, but someday. In the meantime, he would cherish the moments she did open up to him. The smiles, the playful nudges, even the eyerolls when she pretended she was annoyed.

Damn. His mother was right. He was falling for her, and hard. Did she share his feelings? Time would tell. All he could really do was keep doing what he was doing: get her to open up to him, inch by figurative inch. And meanwhile, he'd just keep bringing her coffee and just be there for her. Always.


	3. Baby Talk

_A/N: All the baby talk this season has me convinced they're going to pull that "surprise" out, so for several weeks I've been thinking about how Beckett would tell him, and this seemed the most like them. Takes place sometime in the future._

Five weeks.

It was just a book tour, Gina had said. It would go by in a flash. She was wrong. The five weeks had felt like five years, and despite them talking constantly, he still missed her so much he physically ached. FaceTime was no substitute for the real thing.

The time apart was just as torturous for her, he knew. Which was why he wasn't surprised to see her at the bottom of the baggage claim escalator, holding a sign with his name and a grin bigger than his. She rushed into his arms, giggling as he picked her up. A quiet moan escaped her lips when he softly kissed the side of her neck, just below her ear.

She'd brought the car service, and good thing, too – as soon as the door was shut they were all over each other. Between kisses and caresses they whispered sweet nothings, him repeating how much he missed her and her telling him exactly what she was going to do to him when they got home. A home that was blessedly empty, both his mother and daughter having recently moved out.

Hours later, bedding and hair disheveled and both completely satisfied, she woke him from a slumber with a kiss. "Castle," she whispered.

"Hmm?" It was not more than a grunt, but as she peppered his face with kisses his brain – and another part of his anatomy – woke. "Mmm, I missed this," he muttered, rolling her to her back and settling himself on top of her.

She grinned up at him, amused at his ability to be ready even if his eyes were barely open. "Me too, but I need to tell you something."

At that, Castle's eyes finally opened all the way. He cocked an eyebrow. "Lemme guess: you got so lonely that Mother and Alexis moved back in."

Kate chuckled. "No way. Move." She pushed him off, just enough that she could scramble out of bed and to the box she had stashed in the corner of the room. She turned back around to find him staring at her, desire evident in his eyes. A glance down confirmed that his desire was felt other places, too. She felt her cheeks flush. "This can wait."

The sun was barely peeking over the horizon when they next stirred. Castle woke and his eyes shifted to the shape on Kate's nightstand, forgotten for hours, but his curiosity now peaked. "So…what's in the box?"

This time it was Kate's turn to grunt her response. She didn't want to leave her husband's arms, even for a second. But she remembered the gift she'd almost told him about on one of their many late night chats. She'd almost slipped up earlier, too, while caught up in the throes of half-conscious lovemaking. Nope, she couldn't take that risk anymore. "Just a little welcome home gift," she teased, handing him the box.

Rick shook the box, as he always did, trying to ascertain what was inside. He cocked an eyebrow. "A puppy?" he joked. He was rewarded with a light punch in his arm, but also a grin that never failed to warm his heart. He leaned over and gave her a peck on the lips. "I missed you," he murmured against her mouth.

She responded in kind, her hands cupping his jaw, slightly scraping his stubble. "I missed you too," she whispered. "Now open the damn box."

Rick kept an eye on his wife as he opened it, her smile growing with every passing second. Inside was a t-shirt. "Huh," he said, lifting the shirt to see what was on it. Admittedly, he wasn't sure what he'd hoped for, but a t-shirt was not high on the list. As soon as he picked up the shirt, however, an envelope fell to the side. With another glance at Kate, her face beaming, he opened it and pulled out the picture inside. He gasped. It wasn't just a picture.

It was an ultrasound picture.

"Kate-"

"Look at the shirt." She was barely containing her excitement as he saw the words on the back: Ruggedly Handsome Dad.

Rick looked at her, the tears in his eyes blurring his vision. "Really?" he asked, barely a whisper.

Kate took his face in her hands again, her eyes also wet with tears. "Yeah. Congratulations, Dad. We're going to have a baby."

And that kicked off another round of celebrating.

Damn, it was good to be home.


	4. Stronger (post-7x15)

_A/N: I've been having some uploading and formatting issues so I apologize to those who may follow the story and get e-mail notifications. Twice now I've checked the story before I posted, and it's been fine, then I look at it after it's been posted and it's all screwy. So, I appreciate your patience and loyalty and, of course, reviews._

Stronger (post-7x15)

The bed was cold.

Rick wasn't surprised; lately his wife had developed a bit of insomnia, thanks to the one-two punch of almost dying and having a career crisis. Most nights he didn't even know, sleeping through her vacating the bed. She was usually only up for an hour or two, anyway, sometimes just sitting up in bed until she got tired again. But tonight – tonight felt different.

A glance at the clock gave him the godforsaken time of 4:17. Not only was her side of the bed empty, but he could see a sliver of light coming in from the living room. Ah. One of _those_ nights. Rick considered leaving her alone – sometimes she needed to work out whatever was bothering her. But he'd been doing that a lot lately, and the insomnia had only gotten worse. And besides that, he was cold.

He padded into the living room to see her on the couch, staring into the fireplace, wrapped in a blanket with a drink in her hand. "Kate?"

Beckett started at the sound of his voice; she hadn't heard him walk up. She gave him a small smile as he knelt in front of her and took her free hand. She set her glass down and took his other hand in hers. "Hey," she said softly. "Did I wake you?"

"No. You okay?"

"Yeah." Kate barely got the word around the sudden lump in her throat. Tears stung her eyes; dammit, she told herself she wouldn't cry tonight. She turned her head, trying furiously to blink them away before her husband saw.

No such luck.

Rick saw the tears, and usually he ignored them, but he couldn't this time. Not when his beloved was in so much pain. No matter how she tried, he could see the pain in her eyes, that faraway look that hadn't disappeared in weeks.

"Hey, it's okay." He joined her on the couch, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her onto his lap. "It's okay, Kate."

"I had a dream tonight," she started, finally, once her sobs started to subside. "I was on that table—"

_Nieman_.

"—and she had her scalpel and I got free but then the boys came and you weren't there and they said you were gone, you had been shot and they'd been too late—"

_Dammit_.

"—and I turned around and just started stabbing her…she was dead, but I just kept going and going—"

Rick tightened his grip. "Oh, Kate. Sweetie, I'm sorry. I'm here. I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere."

They sat like that for who knew how long – he'd lost track of time – but eventually his bladder started screaming.

"Kate. Babe," he whispered in her ear, nudging her. Her only reply was a grunt. One glance at her face told him everything he needed to know, that she was finally asleep. He hated to move, to let her go, but he had to. He managed to stand without waking her and placed a kiss on her forehead as he retreated to the bathroom.

A few minutes later, he was back on the couch, Kate in his arms once again. It was going to be a long road – Jerry Tyson had haunted them for years, and it had only gotten worse when Nieman appeared. Rick knew there would be more sleepless nights and a lot more tears. But he also knew that they'd get through it.

The next night, it was Beckett who was awoken by her spouse's irregular sleep habits. Castle had always been a heavy sleeper, but since their twin brushes with death…

She woke to him thrashing his head, brow furrowed, her name coming from his lips in an increasingly panicked tone. She touched his shoulder. "Castle…"

"No…Beckett…Kate…no…no!"

The last "no" was almost shouted, Rick waking himself up and bolting to a seated position, eyes frantic. Kate sat up with him. "Castle." She touched his cheek, turned his head towards her, searched his face with her eyes.

Castle finally relaxed as his brain shook the last remnants of his nightmare. "Kate. You're okay." He framed her face with his hands, needing to touch her to make sure this wasn't another dream. "You're okay."

"Oh, babe," Kate breathed, taking him into her arms. "The same?"

Rick nodded against her shoulder. "Yeah. Nieman had—you know." He sighed in contentment as they laid back down, his head on her shoulder, the mirror image of the previous night. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For waking you."

Beckett stroked his head, running her fingers through his hair, lightly massaging his scalp to help him relax. "You can wake me any time."

"Thanks." Rick felt himself falling back asleep, but forced himself to lean up and kiss his wife. "I love you," he murmured, staring into her eyes, those eyes that betrayed every emotion she tried to hide.

Kate gave him a small smile. "I love you, too." She kissed him again, deeper, raising an eyebrow when she felt him stir. "Really?"

Castle shrugged. "Maybe the rest of me needs to be convinced that you're okay."

Kate rolled her eyes, but pushed him on his back and straddled his waist. "Oh, really? And just how am I supposed to do that?"

Castle ran his hands under her shirt and up her sides, making her giggle – Kate was ticklish, and the way she squirmed when he did that…well, there was a reason he did it so often. He lifted her shirt over her head. "I have a few ideas."

Kate laughed, her first real laugh in days, and bent down to kiss him. "So…what's the first?"


	5. Ferris Wheel (post-4x07)

_A/N: from a couple tumblr prompts, posted at the end. Fic takes place about a week after 4x07, "Cops and Robbers."_

"What are you guys doing?"

"I don't know, he wouldn't say." Beckett set her phone down as she pulled on her sweater. "He just said to dress warm and casual and not to worry about a thing."

On the other end of the phone, Lanie was going crazy trying to figure out her best friend. "Mm-hmm. And he said he wanted to thank you _personally_ for saving his life in that bank? Those specific words?"

"Yes."

"Girl, if he thanked you _personally_ every time you saved his life, you'd have eight kids by now."

"Shut up." Kate looked up from tying her shoes at the knock on her door. "I gotta go. Talk to you later."

"Use a condom!"

Kate just rolled her eyes. She loved Lanie like a sister, but sometimes…well, she didn't have much of a filter. Beckett opened the door to find Castle, a grin on his face and flowers in his hand. "Hey. What are these for?"

Rick stepped into the kitchen and started the hunt for a vase. "I might have overheard you telling Lanie that you missed having a guy buy you flowers." Finding a vase, he filled it halfway with water and set the bouquet inside. "So I thought, a special bouquet for a special lady."

Beckett felt a blush creep onto her cheeks. Damn him and observational skills. She thought she'd told Lanie that in private. "Thanks, Castle. That's really sweet."

Castle grinned. "You're welcome. Ready to go?"

"Yeah." When they stepped outside, she was surprised to see the Ferrari at the curb. "The Ferrari? Castle, you said to dress casual." She'd foregone her usual blouse and worn jeans and long-sleeved shirt under a sweater. He was also dressed down, in a hooded sweatshirt. Still, she slid in the passenger seat when he opened the door for her.

"Well, where we're going is casual, but I figured why not get there in style?"

Once they got out of the city and turned onto the Belt Parkway, Beckett had an idea where they were going. She turned to face him. "You're taking me to Coney Island, aren't you?"

Castle glanced over at her, barely suppressing a laugh at the accusatory look in her eyes. "Yes, I am. Is that a problem?"

"No." Beckett settled back into her seat; if they didn't hit traffic the ride would be relatively short, so she had little time to push from her mind the memories from her previous trips here. She heard Castle talking but barely registered his words.

"—and I know we can get Nathan's in the city but they're the best here. Have you ever been to the hot dog eating contest? You think I have a big mouth—"

Kate tuned him out. She enjoyed his childlike enthusiasm, she really did. But despite their close proximity to the tourist attraction, she hadn't been there in almost fifteen years, not since—

She started at the feeling of his hand covering hers. She looked over to see Castle staring at her, concern etched all over his face.

"Are you all right?" he asked quietly, gently squeezing her hand.

Beckett flushed. He probably thought she didn't care. She did, he just—well, she didn't know, but Castle managed to find the weak spots that she didn't show _anyone._ Not Lanie, not Esposito; well, now she'd having something new to talk to Dr. Burke about.

She turned her hand over in his and squeezed back. "Sorry. I'm fine. Just lost in my thoughts. Are we here already?"

Castle looked around at the horde of tourists making their way towards the pier and grinned at his partner. "Yeah, I'd say. Come on, Beckett, let's go act like kids."

Five hours and several hot dogs later (she had to keep her energy up, Kate told herself as she scarfed down her fourth of the day) they were both full and utterly exhausted. They'd ridden most of the rides and Castle had won a prize at one of the games, a stuffed elephant that he gave to Beckett. They even went through the aquarium. He didn't know what was cuter, the sea otters or Beckett obsessing over them.

Finally, as dusk began to take over the sky, the two of them strolled along the beach, arm in arm. Kate was barely able to stay standing; she'd drunk a lot of coffee this morning, but it had mostly worn off. Plus she hadn't slept well since that close call at the bank the previous week.

She yawned and looked up at Castle, his face illuminated by the pinks and oranges of the sky. He was carrying her prize elephant and she couldn't help but smile. Only Castle could look sexy carrying a stuffed animal.

"Hey," she said, nudging him. He broke out of his silent reverie and she wondered what he had been thinking. "Thank you, Castle. I've had a great time."

Castle smiled down at her. "Me too. But there's one more thing I want to do."

A few minutes later they were standing in front of the Ferris wheel.

"Castle—"

"Come on, Kate, it'll be fun! Haven't you ever ridden one of these during sunset? It's amazing! Please? It's no fun alone."

Kate bit her lip. She didn't want to go up – heights weren't her favorite thing in the world, and the last time she'd been on this particular wheel she'd gotten stuck at the top. Plus, she was pretty sure Castle was the kind of guy who would rock the gondola.

But he looked so excited, almost bouncing on his feet. And he'd given her this entire day, winning that elephant – ugh, fine. Damn elephant.

"Okay."

"Yes!"

Twenty minutes later the wheel had stopped at the top, the two of them sitting across from each other, staring out at the ocean. At least, Kate was. She'd picked a spot on the horizon and wasn't going to blink, not even for a second—

Suddenly the world moved.

Kate grasped onto her bench, knuckles white. "What the hell was that?!" she croaked out, moving her eyes to Castle—

-who was doubled over, laughing.

"Oh my God, the look on your face – Beckett – priceless!" His laughs subsided though when he saw her glare melt into something else: panic.

Oh shit. She was actually scared. And he was an asshole for not seeing it.

Castle leaned forward and pried her hands from the bench, taking them in his. "Hey," he said softly. "I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

Beckett sniffled, trying to stay in control. But then he handed her that stupid elephant and she broke.

Castle was at her side in an instant. "Kate," he whispered, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her into his chest. "I'm so sorry. If I'd known, we wouldn't even be up here."

Kate didn't say anything for several moments while she tried to get her breathing under control. When she finally spoke, her words cracked.

"I don't have very many good memories here. Growing up all I wanted to do was come here with my parents. But they were always too busy. Finally, when I was 9, we came. It was summer, so of course the crowds were nuts, but I had a blast. Until the Ferris wheel. We were on it, all 3 of us, when it stopped. We were at the top and stuck for an hour or so but it felt like forever because I don't like heights anyway and I thought we were going to die—"

Castle just held her tighter. Now he _really_ felt like an ass. He was about to say something, to apologize again, when she took a deep breath and started talking again.

"I didn't come back for over ten years. Dad and I came out here after Mom's wake—well, technically, during. He said 'Let's get out of here, Katie,' and drove us here. It was January, so almost everything was closed, but we just walked around. So this place is full of bad memories for me and I'd resolved never to come back again but now we're here and I'm ruining a fun day and I'm sorry."

"No, Kate, _I'm_ sorry. I should have seen it, I knew you were hesitant but I didn't even think about it. Then I go and rock this stupid thing—Kate, why didn't you say something?"

Kate pulled away slightly so she could look at him and gave him a small smile. "You looked so excited, like a little boy. And you've been so gracious today, and you won that elephant for me, I figured I could handle this one ride."

Castle wanted so badly to cup her cheek, wipe the tears from her face, kiss her fear away. Instead he just held her for the next several minutes while the ride finished. When they were back on solid ground she finally pulled away and they wordlessly walked back to the car, Beckett holding the elephant in one arm and her other looped through Castle's arm.

Traffic back to the city was terrible; what had taken them 40 minutes that morning took almost 2 hours. When Castle finally found a parking spot down the block from Beckett's building, he looked over at her and smiled. She'd fallen asleep within minutes of their departure; sometime during the drive she'd turned her head so she was facing him, some of her hair draped over her face. How he wanted to carry her upstairs, tuck her into bed, maybe join her—no, that couldn't happen.

But something _had_ happened today. She'd opened up to him, been vulnerable in a way that she rarely did. They'd spent the whole day together, and it felt comfortable. Right. Like they could spend every day together for the rest of their lives.

Not yet, though. Castle reached over and brushed her hair off her face, tucking it behind her ear, and smiled when she stirred. "Hey," he said quietly when she opened her eyes.

Kate smiled back. "Hey. Are we back?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Um, I'll let you go. Thanks again. Good night." She stepped out of the car, surprised to see Castle get out too. "What are you doing?"

"Walking you to your door, of course."

"Castle—"

Rick held up a hand. "Don't. I gave you a panic attack, the least I can do is walk you up."

Kate just rolled her eyes as he followed her into her building.

They were both silent until they reached her door and Kate unlocked it. She turned and gave Castle a shy smile. "I had a great time today, Castle."

"You mean until the end."

"No." Kate reached forward, took Castle's hand in hers, cupped his jaw with her other to keep him from turning away. "The whole day, Rick. Okay?"

Castle smiled, prompting her to smile too. "Okay. I'll see you Monday, Detective."

Kate hesitated for a moment, then leaned up on her toes and kissed his cheek. "See you Monday."

_A/N 2: original tumblr prompt from castlefanficprompts: "Important OTP thing to consider: who rocks the ferris wheel seat. Even more important: which one is terrified and crying and clinging to the other to try and get them to stop KATE IS. LET IT BE KATE WHO'S A SMUSHY CLINGLY LIL THING" Fills this one as well: "Pre or Post Caskett. Castle discovers Beckett's fear of heights."_


	6. Thawing (3x17 AU insert)

Thawing (AU 3x17 insert)

Kate Beckett was freezing. She'd tried everything she could think of to get warm: a hot shower, multiple layers of warm clothes, the heat in her apartment blasting. But even now, curled up under the thickest blanket she owned, she still felt chilled to the bone. Almost freezing to death probably had something to do with it.

And Josh.

Poor, sweet Josh had tried, bringing her hot tea and his warm embrace. But his plan to stay the night had been thwarted just minutes ago with yet another argument about Castle. He thought there was something between them, claimed it was obvious he was smitten with her, was convinced there was something going on. She liked Josh, but when he got jealous…well, their ensuing fight ended with him slamming her door behind him, and she wasn't sure he was ever coming back.

And she didn't think she wanted him to.

If only she'd kept her mouth shut about how she and Castle had huddled together in that freezer, trying to stay warm as long as possible. Maybe then Josh would still be here and she'd be snuggled against him instead of alone in the dark. But she'd opened her big mouth, leaving her with an internal chill to go along with her literal one.

Kate instinctively reached for her phone. If she was cold and awake, maybe he was too. No, she couldn't do that. What if he was asleep and she woke him? No, she thought, gazing at his face on her screen briefly before setting her phone back down. She'd just settle for another blanket.

Across town, Richard Castle was also awake and in a similar situation, minus the fight with a significant other, unable to get warm. He, too, wondered what the other was doing – no, he'd seen her leave with Doctor Motorcycle Boy. So they'd be together, no doubt.

God, what the hell was wrong with him? He knew he had feelings for her, and she had to know, too, especially after that kiss several weeks before that he couldn't stop thinking about. The kiss that had started and ended as undercover, but somewhere in the middle…well, he was 99% sure the moan that had escaped her lips had not been for show.

He suddenly couldn't sit anymore, couldn't be inside. He changed from his sweats to jeans and grabbed a scarf, gloves, and a hat. Maybe going for a walk would get his blood flowing and warm him up.

Twenty minutes later, Castle stared at the familiar building across the street. How had he ended up here? He'd just been wandering aimlessly, not paying attention to where he was going – probably not smart for this time of night – and he was about to turn around when he saw a tall man stalk out the door and turn down the street. Doctor Motorcycle Boy. And he looked pissed.

Dare he go upstairs? Rick looked up to the fourth floor, to the window he knew belonged to Beckett's living room, but before he could move he saw the light go out.

Tomorrow, then.

He watched the window for a long time, having an internal debate with himself on whether or not to go up. Finally, the gentleman side won. He typed out a quick text, re-reading it twice before hitting send.

_You're probably asleep; if not, good night. I'll call you later._

Beckett started when her phone chirped. Who – she'd finally managed to doze off, but her annoyance at being woken was quickly replaced by the warm feeling that coursed through her bones when she saw the name.

Castle. So, he emwas/em awake. Of course, she shouldn't be surprised; the man admitted to her once that he thrived off insomnia and caffeine. The events of the past 24 hours had probably also had an effect. She considered leaving the text unanswered, but talking to him right now felt right. She thumbed a reply.

_I for one can't sleep. You neither?_

The reply was quick._ Nope. Still cold. Josh must be asleep?_

The mention of her boyfriend's – ex-boyfriend's? – name gave her pause. How honest did she want to be? Castle didn't exactly hide that he had feelings for her, did she really want to toe that line? She shrugged at herself. No matter what they were, or wanted to be, right now Castle was her best friend.

_Josh isn't here._

_Oh?_

_We had a fight. He left._

_Oh. I'm sorry._

_Thanks._

_Sure. I'll leave you alone. Goodnight, Beckett. See you tomorrow._

_Do you want to come over?_

The text was sent before Kate's brain caught up and realized what she'd said. She swore under her breath, quickly firing off a follow-up. _I don't have a fireplace, but I have nice blankets._ Shit. That wasn't any better. _Full disclosure: I pretty much just don't want to be alone._

The reply came a few long seconds after the last one. _Be there in 20._

Fifteen minutes later, Beckett was answering the door, smiling at the wine Castle had brought. "Really? Are we going to warm up by getting drunk?"

Castle chuckled and stepped into the apartment, kicking off his shoes as he headed towards the kitchen. He'd been lucky to find a 24-hour store in her neighborhood that actually had wine on hand. "I figured it couldn't do any harm."

Glasses in hand, they sat on opposite ends of the couch, each under their own blanket. They sipped in silence, but not the comfortable silence they often found themselves in. Kate could feel tension in the air; not sure where it was coming from, she tried to be content with her feet tucked under her, in as small a ball as she could make herself to maximize the space between them. Finally, she couldn't handle it anymore.

"Rick—"

"Kate—"

They made eye contact and started laughing; apparently they not only completed each other's theories, they started sentences at the same time too. Castle waved his hand in deference. "Ladies first."

Kate had only spoken to break the silence. She had no idea what she wanted to say, so she settled for a lame "Thanks for the wine. And for coming over. I guess I just needed company, and when Josh stormed out…"

Castle stiffened when he heard her mention the other man's name. "So, you guys had a fight?"

Kate sighed. "Yes. We've been fighting more and more these days. He wants more, and I do too, just not...well, not with him." Her vision started to blur with tears that she willed not to fall. The last thing she wanted was for her – whatever he was – to see her cry over another man. "He's leaving for Ethiopia in the morning. He was going to stay the night, but then we argued, and he left."

Castle stared at her. He saw the tears she was too stubborn to let fall, and felt his heart break. "Is that all? He wants more, you don't?" _Dangerous territory, Castle._

"No. No, that's not all." _Shit._ Well, she'd opened the door, may as well barge right through it. She finally let herself meet his eyes. "What are we doing, Rick? And don't say something flippant about how we're just sitting here drinking nice wine. You know what I mean."

Castle saw the question in her eyes, the uncertainty, the underlying panic. He shifted so he was facing her directly. "I don't know what we're doing. I know I went for a walk tonight and ended up across the street. I know we're drinking wine that I got at the convenience store around the corner. I know two weeks ago we kissed under the guise of undercover but it felt like more, and that six hours ago we almost froze to death in each other's arms."

"Castle—"

"No, let me finish. I know that I'm not at the precinct every day for research anymore. I know it's turned into something more, a lot more. So I don't know what we're doing. But I do know that I am completely and madly in love with you."

Sometime while he was talking, Kate's tears started to fall and she couldn't have stopped them even if she wanted to. She wasn't surprised, of course; he was good with words but not good at hiding his feelings. "Rick, I don't think—"

"No." Castle moved forward, taking her face in his hands, wiping her tears away with his thumbs. "I won't let you push me away. Not tonight. Tomorrow we can go back to whatever the hell we are. But tonight…" He kissed her softly. "Don't think. Just feel."

Kate let herself relax into his embrace, opening her mouth and her feelings and oh god, that was his tongue against hers. She ran her fingers through his hair, holding his mouth to hers. Finally the need for air forced them to part and they stilled, foreheads touching, breaths mingling as they lightly panted.

Castle searched her face for any clue as to what might be going on in that brain of hers. Her eyes were closed and her breathing soon slowed to normal; only then did she look into his eyes. "What are you thinking?"

Beckett gave him a sly smile that had his blood rushing south. "I thought I wasn't supposed to think. But if I were, I'd be thinking about moving to the bedroom." And she laughed when Castle scooped her in his arms, almost tripping over their tangled blankets (and his feet) in his hurry to the bed. But her laughs turned into moans when he forced all thoughts out of her mind.

And sometime in the night, they both realized that they didn't want things to go back to the way they were.


	7. Plant a Seed (AU meet)

PLANT A SEED (loosely based off a tumblr prompt posted at the end)

* * *

Kate was absolutely mortified. She hadn't realized her blinds were open, that anyone could see her as she danced around her apartment. And then Pandora started playing "MMMBop" and she was singing at the top of her lungs, nearing the end of the song, when he caught her eye.

The cute man from across the complex was standing on his patio, watching her and laughing. At her.

Kate froze, staring for a moment, then rushed to shut her blinds before she melted into a puddle from embarrassment.

This was just fantastic. She'd been trying to gather the courage to approach him since he'd moved in a few days before. And now she was determined never to step outside again.

Except…her heart sank when she noticed the garbage bags sitting by her door, the result of her spring cleaning. She had to walk past his door to get to the dumpster. Maybe she'd just take it out in the middle of the night and start looking for a new place to live.

_Good grief, Kate,_ she scolded herself. _You're being ridiculous. You are a mature, 30 year old adult._

She groaned and sank onto her couch, head in her hands. A mature adult who'd just been caught singing and dancing to Hanson. And by her crush, no less.

No more cleaning tonight. It was time for wine.

* * *

Kate awoke early the next morning. She managed to take the neglected trash out without seeing her neighbor, although she did notice a shadow of movement behind his blinds. (Not that she was looking, she tried to convince herself. She just wanted to make sure she could run at the first sign of him.)

She poured herself a very large cup of coffee and sat on her patio, closing her eyes to bask in the sun while she sipped. Before long, though, she heard footsteps walk past her, and a deep voice humming. Her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to identify the melody. Was that – that was –

No. Oh no.

She cracked open an eye to see _him_ walking back towards his apartment. Maybe he didn't see her…

"Good morning."

Kate felt her face flush, but she forced herself to look at him. God, he was even better looking up close, even with that smirk on his face. "Hi there."

"Beautiful day," he said, then nodded at her mug. "Tough night?"

Kate cocked an eyebrow. "No. I just really like coffee."

"Alright." He took a step closer, held out his hand. "I'm Rick Rodgers. Um, Castle. Rick Castle. Sorry. I recently changed my name, still getting used to it."

Kate shook his hand. "Kate Beckett."

Rick smiled. "Nice to meet you, Kate." He leaned against the side of the half-wall separating her patio from her neighbor's. "I heard this song last night I hadn't heard since high school. I remember despising it then, but I listened to the whole album last night and it's pretty good. Catchy songs. You ever heard of the group Hanson?"

Kate groaned in embarrassment. "Oh God, can we never mention that again?"

"I'll make a deal with you." Rick sat next to her. "Let me take you out, and your song of choice is safe with me."

"Deal."

And he kept his deal for months, until the night he proposed, when they danced to the whole album after she said yes.

* * *

_Based off a Tumblr prompt from awful-aus: __Submitted AU #145 "You've just moved in next door and the first time you ever see me, it's through the window, where I'm dancing and screaming along to one of my favourite songs and now every time we see each other you start singing that song and it makes me wanna kill you and kiss you at the same time" AU_

_A/N: Shout-out to my bff Nicole, who barely hesitated to answer "MMMBop" when I asked her to name the most embarrassing song you could get caught by your crush singing._


	8. An Unexpected Journey (AU meeting)

_"Do you remember when we first met?" "I thought I had wandered into a dream." - Arwen and Aragorn,_ The Lord of the Rings

* * *

**AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY**

He should just leave. Rick was so very tempted; his friend Kevin, a so-called "fan," had fallen asleep ten minutes into the first _Lord of the Rings_, leaving Rick the recipient of some very strange looks. Rick would have left if he hadn't shelled out 40 bucks for the all-night marathon. Instead, he munched on his popcorn, stole Kevin's when he was out, and tried to enjoy the rest of the movie.

Three hours later, he was coming out of the bathroom during the brief intermission when he saw her. Tall, gorgeous. And looking very much alone, wringing her hands in front of her and glancing at the exit. Rick watched her for a few moments, finally stepping towards her when she made a move to the door.

"Leaving so soon?" Rick asked, causing the brunette to jump slightly. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

She narrowed her eyes. "You didn't scare me. Startled, maybe, not scared. And what's it to you if I leave? Are you like the Nazgul of people who skip out?"

Rick chuckled. "Not exactly, no. My friend fell asleep and I feel it's better to watch these movies with someone else."

"You mean like 200 other people?"

"Funny. No, like with a conscious friend."

"I'm not your friend. I don't even know your name."

Rick held out his hand. "Rick."

She eyed his hand for a moment before taking it. "Kate."

"So, Kate," Rick began, glancing at his watch. They had a few minutes still. "It appears to me that you are by yourself, but judging by the look on your face before I came over here, I'd wager that you didn't come here alone. Where are your friends?"

Kate scoffed. "Yes, and some friends they are. They left halfway through _Fellowship._ That's what I get for being the third wheel."

"Seeing as how your so-called friends abandoned you, how about you watch the rest with your new friend?" Rick pointed at himself. "That would be me."

Kate couldn't help the smile that crept onto her face. "Sure, if you promise to keep the talking to a minimum."

"My lips are sealed."

* * *

Kate barely paid attention to the movie. All she could focus on for the next three hours was the man sitting next to her, who she found herself drawn to despite her act earlier. She wasn't sure what it was about him; yes he was good-looking, but there were more than looks. He had an easy personality about him, and she got the impression that he could talk to just about anyone. But as soon as they'd sat down (how had she not noticed they'd been sitting next to each other the whole time?) her bad mood had dissipated.

Rick was in the same boat. He, however, spent the entire film trying to decide if she'd punch him if he tried to hold her hand. Finally the movie ended and he glanced at Kate, noticed her eyelids drooping. "Coffee?" he asked as they stood to stretch.

Kate yawned, then blushed, embarrassed. "Sure. Let me give you some cash."

Rick waved his hand dismissively. "It's on me. I'll be right back."

They made small talk until the lights dimmed once more, and they descended into silence. It wasn't until midway through the movie, when Rick whispered an offer of his popcorn, that he even considered making a move. He'd wanted to, but she was so absorbed in the movie that he didn't dare.

Well, Kate had appeared to be concentrating on the movie. In reality, she was keenly aware of Rick sitting inches away. Every swig of his coffee, every bite of his popcorn distracted her. She jumped when he nudged her and leaned his head close.

"Want some?" Rick whispered in her ear, tilting the popcorn towards her.

"Sure, thanks."

As Kate reached into the bag it slipped out of Rick's hand. They both managed to grab it, his hand landing on hers, a small gasp escaping Kate's lips. She looked up at Rick; his breathing had quickened and he was staring at her with an intensity she hadn't seen from a man in a long time.

They stared in each other's eyes for a moment until Rick cleared his throat softly. "Sorry."

"No problem." Kate took a handful of popcorn, then the bag itself, which she placed on the floor between them. At Rick's questioning glance she took his hand in hers, lacing their fingers together. She gave him a small smile, then settled back in her seat to watch the rest of the movie.

* * *

As the credits started rolling and the lights came on, Kate finally untangled her hand from Rick's as she stood. "You should probably wake your friend," she said, nodding towards the slumped figure on the other side of him.

Rick glanced at Kevin. "You're probably right." When he looked back at Kate, she was grabbing her bag and starting to make her way towards the exit. "Kate, wait."

Kate stopped while Rick nudged his friend enough to wake him up. Rick didn't wait for Kevin, though, and met Kate in the aisle.

"This may seem weird," he began, "but can I see you again? Take you out to dinner, maybe?"

Kate raised an eyebrow. "Dinner's more of a second date activity for me."

Rick couldn't help but smile. "Coffee then. Or breakfast. We can make our way up to dinner. Do you have plans at, say," he glanced at his watch, "ten?"

"Only seven hours, Rick? Come on, I need more beauty sleep than that," Kate teased.

Suddenly Rick's hand was on the side of her face, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "No you don't," he said in a soft voice.

Kate blushed. "How about coffee? Noon?"

"Deal."

* * *

_A/N: VERY, VERY loosely based on this prompt from .com. Prompt 231: __"__I came to this all night horror movie marathon at the theatre with my buddies but they're all wimps and they fell asleep around midnight. You seem to be the only other person awake. Wanna watch the last couple movies together?" AU_


	9. A Fine Line Between Coincidence and Fate

_My friend, there is a fine line between coincidence and fate. – Ardeth Bay, _The Mummy Returns

* * *

**A Fine Line Between Coincidence and Fate  
**(AU meet, tumblr prompt at end)

"What about her?"

Rick glanced behind him where Javier was pointing to see a chesty blonde with too much makeup and a dress that was showing more than not. He noted the gaggle of men around her. "Nope, she seems to be good." His gaze drifted to the brunette at the end of the bar, nursing a drink by herself. "Her."

Javi made a face. "Come on man, are you serious? Yeah, she's pretty, but she's totally throwing off 'stay away from me' vibes." He pulled a twenty dollar bill out of his pocket. "Tell you what. You get her number, next round's on me."

Rick snatched the $20 out of his hand. "Deal."

* * *

Kate was having a terrible night. Not only had her friend Maddie stood her up, she was pretty sure the two guys at the other end of the bar were staring at her, probably strategizing the best way to hit on her. And she most definitely was not in the mood. She'd just motioned for another martini when she saw the taller of the two men walking towards her.

"I got this one, Brian," he called to the bartender. He stood a couple feet from her. "May I sit?"

Kate glared at the man, trying to ignore his good looks and the flutter in her stomach at the subtle smell of his cologne. "What if I'm waiting for someone?" she snapped.

He apparently took that as an invitation and plopped himself down on the stool next to her. "Well, you stopped checking your phone about 20 minutes ago and you've had a scowl on your face the same amount of time. I'm guessing whoever you were meeting decided not to come."

Kate took a long pull of the drink that had just been set in front of her. "She bailed at the last minute. So much for a 'much needed girl's night.'"

Rick took a sip of his own whiskey. "I'm sorry." They sipped in silence for a few minutes until he broke it. "So, this is going to be weird and probably creepy…"

Kate rolled her eyes. Great, she'd somehow attracted the guy who was trying to show off for his friend.

"But I'm trying to convince my friend I'm a sex god so can you please write a fake number on this napkin for me real quick?"

Kate blinked at him. Did he really just ask for her number? No, fake number. He said fake number. Okay, that wasn't too bad. "Is that really why you came over here? To get a fake number?"

Rick blushed. "Yeah, kinda. Javi actually suggested that blonde chick in the corner but you looked lonely. He figured you'd be more of a challenge, I guess."

Kate considered for a moment. What had Maddie said earlier? _Don't let my absence get in the way of having a good time_? Maybe it was the really strong martini talking, but why not have a little fun? She grabbed the offered cocktail napkin and scrawled her name and number on it. "On one condition."

"Name it."

"I don't give my number out to strangers."

"Oh." Rick held out his hand. "Rick."

Instead of shaking his hand, Kate slipped the napkin in his shirt pocket and downed the rest of her drink. "That's my real number. Call me later," she said in his ear before she walked away.

Rick smiled. He couldn't wait.

* * *

_Prompt from castlefanficprompts: What about a "hey I'm sorry to bother you but I'm trying to convince my friends I'm a sex god so can you please write a fake number on this napkin for me real quick' au_


	10. Be Near (4x9 AU insert)

_Set during Kill Shot. When Beckett hides at the office building and has her breakdown, Castle follows her. Author's note at the end._

_"Sometimes, the best way to help someone is just to be near them." - Veronica Roth, Divergent_

* * *

**Be Near**

"Kate!"

She barely hears him call after her, just one thought in her mind, that she needs to get out of there. Away from the victim, away from the case, away from him. He insists at being right there, all the time, and all she needs is a little space.

She blindly pushes through a door, not knowing or caring where it leads to as long as she can breathe. Her chest is on fire, her lungs constricting, memories flooding back of that day in the cemetery and she can't breathe. But then she hears him calling her name, over and over, his voice not fading like she needs it to. No, it's only getting louder.

No. No, no, no, no.

She blocks out the sound of the door opening, the footsteps stopping as she strips off her jacket, throws her badge and gun on the floor. She barely registers his movements, slow and tentative, as she finally breaks.

She can't do this.

The fear in the most recent victim's eyes, the pleading to keep her safe from the unknown assailant, that was the last straw. The straw that broke the detective's back.

She's only slightly startled when he touches her shoulder, whispers her name, pulls her into his arms. She stiffens at first, but when her legs fail her and she starts to sink to the floor he follows, and she's grateful for his support.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs into her hair, words laced with worry, as one arm slides to her waist.

She returns his embrace, finally snaking her arms around him. They aren't exactly huggers – she can count on one hand the number of times she's been in his arms – but she lets herself sink into the breadth of his chest.

They sit like that for several minutes, wrapped in each other's arms, his shirt soaking up her tears. Finally, after her sobs subside and his whispers fade, she pulls away, eyes downcast, not willing to see the pity she's sure his hold. Her eyes land on the wet spot on his shirt, wet with her tears and twin black smudges from her mascara. Her hand lifts of its own accord to touch it.

"Sorry," she mutters before taking her bottom lip in her teeth. "I think I ruined it."

"It's fine." He notices the bandage on her wrist then and takes her hand, eyeing the blood seeping through the gauze. He ducks his head to look at her, forcing her eyes to meet his. "What happened?" he asks roughly, his voice low.

She reaches for her jacket. "Rough night." When he doesn't let go of her hand, she gives him what she hopes is her best glare. It doesn't work; he only tightens his grip. "I'm fine. I broke some glass, I got cut. That's it." He doesn't need to know about her panic attack, the shattered end table, the glass that still litters the living room floor. She slides her jacket on, grabs her badge and gun, stands. "Let's go."

He catches her right before she reaches the door. He almost reaches up to cup her face, wipe the tears and smudged makeup from her cheeks, but settles for giving her his handkerchief instead. "Whatever you need, Kate. Just let me know. Okay?"

She wipes her face, takes a deep breath, straightens her shoulders, and she's a cop again. "Okay." She stills with her hand on the doorknob. He sees her dip her head slightly, then lifts it again to give him a small smile. "Just give me a little time?"

His own lips curl, mirror her expression. Neither smile reaches their eyes; it isn't much, but it's enough for that moment. "Always."

**FIN**

* * *

_A/N: Awhile ago I saw a prompt on castlefanficprompts on Tumblr that simply said "All I want is for Caskett to hug during Kill Shot." I personally loved how the episode handled Kate's PTSD, how she didn't lean on Castle the whole time. That she and Espo had a moment, that Castle recognized he couldn't push her, gave her space. But I really liked the prompt (a nice hug can make a huge difference in a person's day imo) and I didn't like a hug at any other point in the episode, so I decided to write it anyway._


	11. Cries for Revenge (5x01 insert)

**CRIES FOR REVENGE  
****(5x01 insert)**

"I'll never be safe."

Kate's own words from earlier echoed in her mind, even as Castle lay asleep next to her. She was curled up against his side, her head on his broad chest; still, sleep wouldn't come.

Every time she closed her eyes she saw the face of the man behind the death of her mother, the man who would never pay for his sins because they couldn't prove it.

Freaking evidence, she thought to herself. So many times it had come to her aid, finding justice for grieving families. But this time she was the one grieving, and justice was nowhere to be found.

Finally, Kate gave up on the idea of sleep. She untangled herself from Castle's arms and managed to crawl out of bed without him waking. What would he do, she wondered, if they were reversed, if it was his loved one they were trying to get justice for?

Anything, she knew. He'd do anything.

Her heart swelled as she gazed at him before retreating to the living room. He'd shown that time and time again, from pulling her out of her burning apartment, to coughing up a $100,000 ransom like it was pocket change, to simply leaving her alone when she was struggling through the sniper case. There was no doubt in her mind that he would find a way to swing the odds back in their favor. She just had to figure out how. How to get the target off her back, get Bracken to stand down.

Accepting Castle's offer to take her away was tempting, but that wouldn't last forever. And she refused to let him leave his mother and daughter, or to uproot them as well. Even if they did run, they'd be found eventually, and she wasn't willing to take that risk.

Plus, Kate Beckett didn't run. Period.

So that left one option. Bracken had to be eliminated. Kate nearly collapsed on the couch at the thought, fought back the bile in her throat. She'd killed before, but only in the line of duty. This would be completely different. He was so protected there was no guarantee it would even work. And she would definitely be caught, spend the rest of her life in federal prison…no, that was not an option. Her mother wouldn't want justice at the price of Kate's life.

Kate shook her head, banishing the thought from her mind. The night screeched with cries for revenge, but not like that.

So that left…what? Kate's eyes flicked to her bookshelf, where she housed a few of Castle's books amongst other mysteries. A couple Patterson, some Connelly. Castle had, of course, gloated that she had more of his novels than those of his poker buddies.

Poker.

That was it.

If she couldn't beat him outright, beat him by bluffing.

She didn't have either copy of the file. But they'd kept that quiet so far; the only people who knew that the file was gone were her, Castle, Ryan, and Esposito, and their lips were sealed. So she was fairly certain that Bracken wouldn't know. And they'd only put together one piece of evidence…but it was enough.

Should be enough.

God, she hoped so. Because the plan formulating in her mind was so stupid it was borderline suicidal.

She should wake Castle, fill him in. They worked best together. But no, she realized, he'd insist on staying right by her side, would tail her if he needed to. And she couldn't have him put himself at risk like that. There was a very real chance that this would fail miserably, and she'd be up a creek without a paddle.

Plan firmly in place, account number long memorized, Kate was ready. She quickly changed and freshened up in the bathroom; the sun was just starting to make its appearance and she had a stop to make before she confronted him.

She grabbed her personal piece and some money from the emergency stash in her small safe, and gazed at Castle yet again while snapping her gun into her underarm holster. She wasn't planning on using it, but there was no way she'd go into the lion's den unarmed.

Castle didn't stir, not even when Kate rested her hand on his blanket-covered leg. For the first time in their very short romance, she was glad he was a heavy sleeper. _I love you, Rick_, she thought to herself. _And I'm sorry._ Some cash, her keys – Kate left her phone on her nightstand – and she was ready.

Her first stop was at a payphone across the street, where as she dialed dispatch she prayed to anything holy that news of her resignation hadn't made the rounds yet.

Somehow she managed to keep her voice steady when she spoke. "This is Detective Kate Beckett, badge number 41319, requesting the location of Senator William Bracken."

Her next stop was an electronics store on her way, where she bought a prepaid cell phone with cash. She managed to find a cab, gave the address of the hotel where Bracken was, and quickly memorized the number of the phone, subtly brushed her hand against her gun to make sure it was still there.

She had a plan. She was ready for whatever came. Part of her longed for Castle's reassuring presence, but she was glad he was safe at her apartment.

Well, until he woke and found her gone. He was smart, after all, he'd figure it out. But Kate would be back before long.

She hoped.

* * *

_A/N: tumblr prompt quote: "the night screeched with cries for revenge." I don't remember which prompt blog it came from, I think it was putthepromptsonpaper._

_Thank you for reading!_


	12. What, In The Long Run, Gives Us Joy

_We should all do what, in the long run, gives us joy, even if it is only picking grapes or sorting the laundry.__ – _E.B. White

* * *

**WHAT, IN THE LONG RUN, GIVES US JOY**

"Excuse me, sir?"

Rick Castle looked up from his book to see a pretty brunette standing in front of him, wringing her hands together. "Yes?"

Kate Beckett shifted from foot to foot. "I'm so sorry, this is really embarrassing. But I forgot my detergent, and I didn't notice until I started the machine. I can only use a certain kind, and you use it too. Can I—"

"Of course," Castle interrupted her, handing her his bottle. He set down the book he was only pretending to read; he'd first noticed her a few weeks before and had been trying to come up with an excuse to break the ice without sounding weird. But apparently she beat him to it. Forgetting detergent. Brilliant.

Beckett shut the lid of the washer and brought the soap back to him. "Thank you so much," she said, setting it down. "That's never happened to me before."

Castle smiled up at her. "No problem." He moved his bag from the chair next to him. "Care to sit?"

Beckett hesitated. She wasn't in the best part of town, but she'd seen him several times and he seemed relatively normal. "Sure. I'm Kate," she introduced herself as she sat, extending her hand.

Castle shook it. "Rick. Come here often?"

Kate chuckled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Nice line. Does it ever work?"

Castle grinned at her. "You tell me."

"Hmm. I don't know yet."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Beckett relaxing more by the moment and Castle trying to identify the scent he was getting whiffs of every time she moved. _Cherries,_ he finally realized. They suddenly became his favorite fruit.

"So Kate," Castle started, "you have nothing better to do on a Friday night than hang out in a laundromat for a few hours?"

Kate crossed her legs and leaned back, eyeing Castle. "I could say the same to you. Good-looking guy, you could probably have any woman you want."

"Good-looking, huh?" Castle heard his dryer stop, retrieved the load of t-shirts and shorts and started folding on the table by Kate. "Well, unfortunately, clothes have to be washed and this is the best time for me to come." He looked up at Kate, who was staring at him with an amused look on her face. "What?"

Beckett nodded at his clothes. "Nice shirts."

Castle held up a well-worn Superman t-shirt. "Man's gotta dress in style. So, what's your story, Kate? I find it hard to believe that you don't have your choice of suitors, yet I see you here every week."

Kate retrieved her first load from her dryer, suddenly grateful that she'd chosen to wash her work clothes first and not her underwear. "Friday is my only real day off and I prefer to come at night. Fewer people."

They folded in silence, stopping only to switch out loads. After some time Castle was done, while Kate was working on her last. He packed his clothes and supplies and sat, watching Kate's profile as she folded.

After a few moments of him staring, Kate threw a glance in his direction. "That's a little creepy, Rick."

Castle jumped. "Sorry. I just – um, you need help?"

Kate raised an eyebrow. "Folding my last towel? I'm good, thanks."

Finally she was done, and she stretched to work out the tightness in her back. "Well, Rick, it's been fun. Thank you for the detergent."

Castle smiled and held the door open for her. "Anytime." They stood for a moment until he cleared his throat. "Good night, Kate."

Kate smiled. "Good night, Rick." As he turned away, she called after him. "Next week?"

Castle threw a smile over his shoulder. "Can't wait."

* * *

The next seven days seemed like the longest of Kate's life. She had no idea what drew her to the man in the laundromat, Rick. He was good-looking, that was for sure, and definitely charming. She liked him. She wanted to get to know him.

So she brought extra to the laundromat that Friday, not just the normal assortment of clothes and towels, but a couple sets of sheets as well (a good excuse to stay longer, she figured). When she saw Rick come in with two duffel bags instead of one, she grinned. He obviously had the same idea. "Hey," she called out, waving him over.

Rick smiled. "Hey yourself. Watcha got there?" he asked, motioning to the large pile in front of her.

Kate shrugged. "Had a lot to do this week. I saved you a washer."

Rick started sorting his clothes into the washer next to hers. When he went to put in detergent, he saw the compartment was already full, and he threw a questioning glance in Kate's direction.

"For last week," she offered in explanation.

Once the machine was going, Castle sat down next to her. He noted the fatigue in her features; she had smiled at him, but the smile hadn't quite reached her eyes. Not for the first time, he wondered what she did for a living.

Kate looked up; apparently he'd verbalized his question. "Um, I'm a cop," she said slowly, hesitantly, like she was afraid of his reaction.

Castle's eyes widened. "Really? That's awesome!"

"You think?" Kate looked down at her folded hands, picked at a loose thread in her jeans. "Sorry, I get a lot of different reactions from guys when I tell them. Yours was new."

"Let me guess." Castle shifted so he was facing her almost head-on. "Some guys feel intimidated, some think it's not feminine enough, and the majority make inappropriate handcuff jokes."

"How'd you guess?"

"I'll be honest, a few years ago I probably would have made an inappropriate handcuff joke. But not now."

Kate looked up at him, her teeth worrying her bottom lip. "Oh? What's different?"

"Well, I had a daughter."

"You're married?!" Kate pulled back in surprise. She was usually so good at checking for a ring – but she didn't remember doing that with him-

"No, no." Rick started to reach for her hand but stopped himself. "Divorced. Well, technically separated, but it's almost finalized. I have Alexis most of the time, but while Meredith – that's her mom – is here she has her on the weekends." He motioned to the small pile of girl's clothes in front of him. "She's four. Alexis. Meredith is moving out to LA soon, and I'll have Alexis full-time."

"Oh." Kate was embarrassed at her assumption, but she also felt a surge of empathy for this man. She could tell that he was hurting, but she couldn't tell if it was because of the divorce or because the mother of his child obviously had higher priorities. "I'm sorry, Rick," she said quietly, placing her hand on top of his. "I can't imagine how hard that must be."

Rick swallowed and stared straight ahead, eyes glistening with unshed tears. His divorce with Meredith had been a long time coming, but watching the effect it had on Alexis was rough. The sound of his washer stopping shook him out of his trance and he smiled at Kate before standing. "Thank you."

After they both had a load in the dryer and their second in the washer, Kate spoke again. "What do _you_ do for a living?"

Rick scoffed. "Oh, I fancy myself a bit of a writer."

"Published?"

"You could say that."

"Anything I may have read?"

"Depends. Do you like mysteries?"

Kate's jaw dropped. She _knew_ he looked familiar. "You're Richard Castle."

Rick gave her a shy smile. "Guilty. But, do you mind keeping it down? I don't want everyone to hear."

Kate looked around at the empty room. Besides the owner, they were literally the only two people there. She just gave him a look that had him unconsciously slouching in his chair. She was about to say something else when her stomach rumbled. She'd spent the day catching up on paperwork, and had been so engrossed that she'd skipped lunch and dinner.

Rick's eyebrows shot up. "Was that you?"

Kate could feel her cheeks flushing. "Yeah. I haven't eaten much today."

"Well, I'm going to fix that." He had his phone to his ear before she could say anything, calling in a delivery of what sounded like delicious Thai food. When Castle hung up he looked at her, a sheepish look on his face. "I'm sorry, I didn't even ask what you liked. I just – they're just a couple blocks away, and they deliver. I hope Thai is okay."

Kate couldn't hide her smile. "It's great. That's actually one of my favorite restaurants."

Rick's face melted into a relieved grin. "Thank God. I once took a date to Remy's – their burgers and shakes are to die for – turns out she was a vegetarian. Needless to say, that was our first and last date."

"Well, you don't have to worry about me, Castle. I am definitely not a vegetarian."

* * *

Beckett had a terrible week. Monday she'd been called in to help the FBI with a missing little girl who'd been kidnapped by her own mother to try to prove negligence so she could sue for custody. The whole situation made her sick. And what hadn't helped at all was that the lead agent was her most recent ex, which brought up all sorts of confusing feelings after they'd closed the case and she could think again.

So she almost didn't want to go to the laundromat Friday night, was tempted to put it off another day. As soon as she walked in and saw Rick, though, she couldn't stop the smile that took over her face. He was there already, but he had no bag or basket. Instead, he had a bouquet of flowers; she also noticed the owner lurking in the doorway of her office.

Kate motioned to the empty table. "Did I miss a memo? Are the machines on strike?"

Castle chuckled and took her bag. "No, but we are. Tonight, you are taking advantage of the wash-and-fold service that Susan offers, and I'm taking you out. If," he added, noting the hesitancy in her eyes, "you'd like to."

Kate considered, but only for a moment. "Sounds great." She wrapped her hand around Castle's offered elbow and let him lead her out, not seeing the _thank you_ he mouthed to Susan.

Castle and Beckett closed down the restaurant. They talked for hours, through dinner and dessert and multiple rounds of coffee; the manager practically shut off the lights while they were still inside. Neither wanted the date to end. Kate hadn't been on a date in months, and now that his divorce was finalized, Castle didn't have to feel guilty about wanting to spend every waking moment with her.

Finally, Kate's long week started to catch up to her, and she found herself yawning as they walked through TriBeCa. The yawn, as well as the occasional stumble in her step, didn't get past Castle and he once again offered his arm.

"You're tired," he pointed out when she protested his suggestion to walk her home. "Kate, you're falling asleep on your feet. Either I walk you home or I follow you. Your choice."

Kate leaned further into Rick's side, enjoying his warmth as they walked in a comfortable silence. Finally, she was slowing him, approaching her building at last. "Well," she said, turning to face him, "this is me. Thank you, Rick. I had a wonderful time tonight."

Rick took her hands in his. "Me too." He hesitated, searching her face for any uncertainty. He saw none, just eagerness and anticipation, so he bent down to brush a soft kiss on her cheek.

Kate's breath hitched at the touch of his lips on her skin. He was being a gentleman, she supposed, but why not a real kiss? Especially since they'd shared so much about each other over the previous weeks. She'd been more open with him than with anyone, and over laundry, nonetheless.

As Castle pulled away, he locked eyes with Kate, who leaned up to kiss him. His hands went to her face almost immediately, cupping her jaw with one and the nape of her neck with the other. They kissed until they had to part for breath, Kate nipping at his lower lip before pulling away.

"I should go," she whispered, breathing hard.

Rick rested his forehead on hers for a moment, then gave her one last peck on the lips. "Can I call you later?"

Kate grinned. "Looking forward to it already." She begrudgingly untangled herself from his arms and stepped into her building. "Goodnight, Rick."

Rick smiled back. "Goodnight, Kate." He gave her one last wave before she disappeared then turned towards home.

He liked Kate Beckett. A lot. And he couldn't wait to see her again.

**FIN**

* * *

_A/N: borrowed from a Tumblr prompt from castlefanficprompts: AU "We do laundry at the same laundry mat every Sunday afternoon and sometimes we make small talk and sometimes we borrow each other's detergent because we use the same weird kind. One night we have so much fun it's almost like date and we stay so late the owner has to kick us out." _


	13. In the Still of the Night

_A/N: Title from "In The Still of the Night" by The Five Satins._

* * *

**IN THE STILL OF THE NIGHT  
(5x21 "Still" post-ep)**

_Hold me again _  
_With all of your might _  
_In the still of the night_

_-_In the Still of the Night,_ The Five Satins_

* * *

"Okay, Dad...Yes, I promise, I'm fine. I'll see you Saturday...I love you too."

Castle smiled at the soft look in Kate's eyes as she hung up the phone. She'd called her dad almost immediately after giving her statement at the scene, hadn't batted an eye when Castle took her cruiser keys and drove them to her building.

Kate followed Castle into her apartment, sighing as she finally took off her boots, a hand on his shoulder for balance. Her feet were absolutely killing her; hours of standing completely still on the bomb had definitely taken their toll, so when Castle pushed her in the direction of the couch, she went without protest.

Castle took a detour through the kitchen, pouring them both a glass of water. Kate was curled up against one end of the couch and accepted the drink with a grateful smile that turned into a groan when he wordlessly pulled her feet into his lap and started rubbing them.

"God, Castle, that feels heavenly," Kate said as her head fell back against the arm of the couch.

After a few minutes, Castle moved his attention to her other foot, massaging her calves as well. Her knew her back would also be sore; he'd rub that later. "You and those shoes," he teased, shaking his head. "Think you'll give them a break every once in awhile now?"

Kate chuckled. "I think I'm off heels for the rest of the week, at least. We'll see how I feel when I go back to work Monday."

They were silent for quite some time, Castle concentrating on his massage and Kate simply staring at him in wonder. They'd both come close to death before, separately and together, but this was the first time she could think of that he'd willingly stood by her in the face of certain death. She didn't know if she was grateful or angry. He was really willing to leave behind Alexis and Martha for what, a show of chivalry? Because he couldn't imagine his life without her? She didn't know, to be honest right now she didn't care. They could talk later. Right now she'd just enjoy being alive. Being with him.

"Is it this creepy when I do it?"

Castle's voice shook Kate out of her thoughts and she cocked her head. "Huh?"

Castle glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "The staring."

"Oh. Well, I'm used to it now, but for the first couple years, yeah, it was."

"Years?!" Castle gaped at her. "Why didn't you say something?"

Kate raised an eyebrow. "I did. Repeatedly."

"Is it still creepy?"

"Not anymore." Kate pulled her feet from his grasp and pulled herself to her knees, shifting closer to Castle. She kissed him softly, a kiss that he tried to deepen, but she broke it before he could and rested her head on his shoulder. She was content to sit there for hours, relishing the embrace she thought she'd never feel again, wrapped in the arms of the man she loved. But soon she felt his shoulders shaking and she didn't resist when he gripped her tighter and pulled her onto his lap.

Castle buried his face in her hair and let his tears flow. He'd spent most of the day being optimistic and strong for Kate, but now that the adrenaline had worn off he realized just how close they'd been. "Too close," he murmured into her neck. "That was way too close."

"Rick." Kate cupped his face in her hands to look in his eyes, wiped his cheeks with her thumbs. "I'm okay. We're okay." She kissed him, deepening it immediately and shifting to straddle his lap. "Take me to bed. Let me show you."

* * *

Kate woke to an empty bed and the smell of food. She grinned when Castle walked in with a plate full of Chinese takeout, raising an eyebrow at his t-shirt and pants. "Why are you wearing clothes?"

Castle shrugged "I figured the delivery guy might prefer I be dressed." He set the plate on her nightstand and leaned down to kiss her. "Eat. I'll be back in a few."

Kate reached for the food as she heard him turn on the bath water. A few minutes later he came back in, taking the plate and her hand and pulling her out of bed. "You're joining me, right?" she asked, squeezing his hand.

Castle turned and kissed her tenderly on the lips. "Of course." He stripped as she stepped in the tub, settled in behind her and wrapped his arms around her middle while she finished her food then set the plate on the floor.

She'd pulled her hair into a messy bun and he took advantage, covering her neck with kisses. "I love you, Kate," he whispered in her ear, one hand moving to the top of her thigh when she settled back into his chest. He started to trail his fingers higher, continuing his open-mouthed assault on her neck, but stilled when Kate grabbed his hand.

"Castle, wait." Kate shifted so she could look at him without craning her neck. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For waiting so damn long to say something. I love you, Rick. I've loved you for a long time. I don't know why I didn't tell you, why I couldn't say it until I was standing on a freaking bomb minutes from death. But I love you so much it sometimes overwhelms me." She surged forward, grabbed his face, as if he wasn't already completely focused on her. "I don't know how I'll make it up to you. But I." She kissed him. "Love." Another kiss, longer, deeper. "You."

Castle pulled her onto his lap again as they kissed, hands exploring, both glad he filled the tub with less water than last time when she sunk onto him. They eventually pulled apart, boneless and panting, her hands threaded through his hair and his on her hips.

"You have said it," he managed to say once he caught his breath. He untangled one hand to run his fingers down her cheek, along her jaw. "Every kiss, every morning that I wake up with you beside me." He took her hand in his. "Every time you hold my hand or snuggle up to me. That night you came to my door." He pulled her in for another kiss. "You may not have spoken the words, but you've said it just the same."

* * *

Castle woke hours later, disoriented. He'd been woken by a noise, he knew that for sure; after a few moments he realized it was whimpering. Kate was whimpering.

"No…Rick…" She was shaking, her back to him, curled up in a tight ball.

Castle reached out and placed a tentative hand on her bare shoulder. "Kate," he said softly, but she didn't hear.

Suddenly Kate jerked awake with a final cry, and she sat up, leaning forward and burying her face in her hands. Castle sat next to her, saw her stiffen slightly when he touched her back.

"I'm here, Kate," he said quietly, his hand rubbing her neck. "It was a dream. We're both here."

Kate let out a shuddering breath and started to relax when Castle wrapped both arms around her from behind, cradling her to him, enveloping her in his embrace. She drew her legs to her chest, leaned her forehead to her bent knees. Castle bent with her, grip strong as ever.

"It was you," she finally got out. "You were on that bomb, and I couldn't get you out, I couldn't save you…" Her words faded as her body shook with sobs.

Castle could only press his cheek to her shoulder and hold her. They'd both had plenty of nightmares before, especially after their most recent run-in with Jerry Tyson. And Kate occasionally dreamt about her mother or her shooting. But this was her first nightmare in weeks.

Finally, Kate's sobs subsided and she let Castle lay them back down. "That's my biggest fear," she confessed.

"What?"

"That something will happen to you, and I won't be able to stop it. That I'll have to tell Martha and Alexis that I couldn't save you. That I failed." She turned in his arms to look at him. "My biggest fear is having to spend the rest of my life without you by my side."

Castle was silent for a long moment, and in that moment he knew. When he finally gave her the ring in his desk drawer, when he asked her to spend the rest of their lives together, she would say yes. He didn't yet know when he'd propose; not now, it would seem desperate, emotional. He never wanted Kate to doubt whether he wanted to marry her because she'd almost died. But soon. He would ask her very, very soon.

**FIN**


End file.
